Open Letter to Mr. Hugh Hefner On His 80Th B-Day

Firstly, let me start by introducing myself; my name is RockyJay. This is my SECOND letter to you. With due all respect! It's amazing that your 80Th birthday is so close to Easter, and the symbol of your magazine is a bunny! Great planning, sir.

Secondly, let me add that I am a loyal subscriber to your Gentlemen's magazine, or should I say: a digest? That being said and quite frankly, I thank you for having a privilege to enjoy Playboy, a magazine with a such high quality editorial content...sometimes, I even check the pictures.

In addition, I have some experience of Playmates of my own, but a gentleman would never gasconade with things of that nature. Furthermore, I have gone great lengths not only promoting your magazine, but did also promote your reality show: Girls Next Door - despite the fact how much I hate reality shows; aside from Big Brother.

    I know, I know, you are busy... I shall get to the point.

I don't know how to put this?

So, I am just going to say it. Say it like it is. OK, here we go: Sir, where is my invitation to your world famous pajama parties at the Playboy Mansion? Maybe mine got lost in a mail? Could you perhaps kindly re-send it, Easter party would be nice? And just in case that comes to early... pretty much any party will do it for me. Please?

And just in case, if you lost my address, don't hesitate to contact me via e-mail.

One more thing, I noticed that you have currently three girlfriends (click name for a picture);

Kendra , Bridget and Holly 

which of the latter seems to be your #1 girlfriend - at least at the time I am writing this.

Sir, it is just so wrong. I am a guy in my thirties and I have had to settle for one (wife). I think two should do it for you and given that Kendra has some extra energizer-bunny energy in her, and that she is very tom-boyish, I could volunteer to take her, if you will, off your back on her back. That I have to double check with my wife though. OK, I have to finish now, because I have a date with the Easter Bunny...

Sincerely,

RockyJay

POLL: WHAT HAPPENS FIRST?

Comments

[Tara]

So you like silicone and fake bodies huh?

ROCKYJAY-> BODIES ARE NOT "FAKE", BUT RATHER A RESULT OF HARD WORK AND SELF-DISCIPLINE, ASK MY WIFE. BUT YES. DOES THAT MAKE ME SHALLOW?

[Bonanza Jellybean]

I swear those all look like the same girl. But, isn't that the idea? :)

ROCKYJAY-> YUP. THAT'S THE IDEA. GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES.

[Zube Girl]

If I was Hugh, I'd go with Bridget. I mean, if we were being all superficial about it.

ROCKYJAY-> HUGH HASN'T HAVE TO SETTLE FOR ONE, THAT'S WHY HE HAS THREE. MY WIFE'S CHOICE IS, ALSO, BRIDGET...

[Big D]

I voted you go to the playboy mansion. Maybe you should put out a petition promising to bring back pictures and bunnies for those that sign it.

ROCKYJAY-> THAT'S EXCELLENT IDEA!!! I HAVE TO TAKE THIS FURTHER...

[jonathan]

I voted that you go...at least I'll finally get to meet you. ;)

ROCKYJAY-> SPEAKING OF WHICH; HOW IS CATERING? ARE THEY PAYING YOU WELL?

[Jimbo]

Good Luck RockyJay, your best bet is to befriend a bunny. Hugh lets the girls invite a few lucky bastards. Remember wear the pj's if you want to get in. No pj's then no chance at a bj.

ROCKYJAY-> I KNOW A COUPLE OF BUNNIES, BUT SO FAR MY ATTEMPTS HAVE BEEN UNFRUITFUL. I DON'T OWN PJS, BUT WILL PURCHASE A PAIR IMMEDIATELY...

[tom]

Big D here makes sense. You should definitely do a petition.

ROCKYJAY-> MAYBE I SHOULD, SHOULDN'T I?

[jonathan]

Yes, it’s tough being the caterer to the Beverly Hills & Hollywood elite but someone’s got to do it. Do they pay well?….more than you can imagine. I’ll make sure you are well taken care of….

ROCKYJAY-> MAYBE YOU CAN HOOK ME UP...